What Happened to 24?

First they signed Janeane Garofalo as a character next year, which I can handle. Plus it shut’s up those that say that 24 is a conservative shill show. Just because err-America flopped doesn’t mean she can’t act, but we’ll see. At least they also invited John Billingsley of Star Trek Enterprise who can act.

Today, it’s announced that Kiefer Sutherland is arrested for DUI for the second time. I generally lose respect for celebrities and sports figures who abuse the law, women or fans and show my disrespect by not supporting them, their sponsors or the show. I’ll have to fight this one internally as I have liked 24 over the years.Last years plot was a joke and if the writer’s don’t do better this year, it could be over for me.

Here’s the killer, the DUI perp (Kiefer) is listed as 5′10″ and 150 lbs…….not big enough for Jack Bauer if you ask me. I fight bigger (and smaller) people at the dojo, but somehow I got the impression that he was a 6 footer….at some point size overpowers skill, unless there is excessive skill involved….but then this is acting. Well, at least it better be or I’m moving to another show.

another show.

Special Report from the Pentagon

The Pentagon announced today the formation of a new 500-man elite fighting unit called the “United States Redneck Special Forces”.
These Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Mississippi, Missouri, Oklahoma, Tennessee and Texas boys will be dropped off into Iraq and have been given only the following facts about terrorists:
1. The season opened today.

2. There is no limit.

3. They taste just like chicken.

4. They don’t like beer, pickups, country music, or Jesus.

5. They are DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE for the death of Dale Earnhardt.
We expect the problem in Iraq to be over by Friday.

Talk Like a Pirate Day

In previous years, I’ve written my own pirate talk, but this year I used the pirate translator to write this. Here goes:

Today is talk like a pirate day.

Arrr, today is talk like a pirate day A pence for an old man o’de sea?

Instead of being your normal boring self, you should talk properly.

Ahoy, instead o’ bein’ your normal borin’ self, you should talk properly. Aye, me parrot concurs.

Act bold in the office and be a pirate instead of being a nobody

Arrr, act bold in the office and be a pirate instead o’ bein’ a nobody Aye.

Kill or maim anyone who gets in your way.

Aye, sink t’Davy Jone’s locker or deliver the Black Spot anyone who gets in your way A pence for an old man o’de sea?

My friend, get out there try and show some personality.

Ahoy, my ol’ scalwag, get out thar try and show some personality. Aye.

Today, live your life and be bold, because it’s talk like a pirate day.

Arrr, today, li’e your life and be bold, talk like a pirate. Gar, Where can I find a bottle o’rum?

More on Analyst Relations

I’ve been thinking about the A/R job recently. It was prompted by one of the analyst groups giving us 3 days to turn around a report over a holiday weekend. Bear in mind that this was a major report over multiple groups at IBM. Nobody is around on holiday’s and 3 days is a very short period of time in IBM terms. We don’t get accused of being nimble and able to turn the company strategy on a dime. So I was a bit put out and have been stewing about it for a few weeks now.
I don’t excuse said analyst group for the short notice as I though it was unrealistic, but it happened. Being told you have to do it or we write it anyway is tough to swallow, but hey, it’s my job to get it done. They should have given us more time, but stuff happens. I was guessing that this timeframe was to get us off the stick, and it was. The report(S) are still not out.

So on to on analyst relations. The popular cliche is that the R in A/R doesn’t stand for report, so the job characteristics became clearer to me.

Check the ego at the door.

I have to deal with some very important people at IBM (at least in respect to my paying the mortgage next month), also at the analyst firms and again with industry pundits. The minute people get their panties in a wad, the ability to be efficient goes south so I’ve learned to let it pass and try to move past the ego issue.

For IBMr’s, I’ve watched VP’s order people around like they were Eisenhower in WWII, only to get swatted by their GM or a higher executive at the next meeting….. There always is a bigger fish. For the most part, just tell me what you want me to do and I’ll get it done, or tell you you’re misguided and we can’t do it.

For analysts, dealing with them is far better than it was in the 90’s when we got told off so regularly we joked about them. This seemed to me because they had an ax to grind about proving they knew more than we did about the subject. Great, they are the analyst and should know more….next?

For me, Analyst are very helpful to shaping our products and answering questions on our strategy. Yes there are some exceptions, like the call I’m on right now where an analyst is going to write that we should drop a major product (ain’t no way) unless we pay him (extortion?). I, like others will likely drop this guy from our list of primaries, not that he was, but he just sealed the deal in front of a lot of people.

The most productive discussions are when we lay the cards on the table and speak openly, even when dissenting. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, just don’t use it as leverage to hold anyone hostage, on any side (we’ve done it too). Recently, an analyst who fishes (extra points for this trait) told us that what we were announcing wasn’t that special. Guess what, it wasn’t… so we changed the technology to make it better. No ego involved.

So for me in the A/R role, I need to bring the right analyst to the table with the right executive to discuss the right subject and we get things done. Wrong analyst, wrong exec, wrong point of the product and bingo, recipe for failure.

On the humorous side, I’ve been told by the analysts that collectively they have both an opinion on most things and the ego to back it up, it’s my job to work with them on their terms. If you figure out what they want and how they want it, the job can be done.

Relationships

This part is difficult, or easy, depending on your willingness to work at it. I know about the food habits of some, dogs with others, children in college with others and some who like to fish. I spar politically with a few and find it enjoyable to be able to have a conversation about subject that they care about. This isn’t rocket science, working with others by finding common grounds (even uncommon) is about getting along.

Give a little extra Effort

Anyone can do what you are told. Try and give a little more by helping put things together, fill out the forms (contention expected here) and think what your counterpart is doing, and do more. How tough is it to be good? Don’t you want to be the best you can be at your job?

Be Flexible

Sometimes you have to turn around a report in 3 days. But for the most part, this is about the changing times. It is not the 90’s anymore, and we are different and so are the analysts. Tactics are different also. Things that worked just a couple of years ago, are so yesterday now. You constantly need to be thinking, sometimes on your feet, on the spot, in the moment.

This turned out to be more of a ramble than the educational piece I’d hoped it would be, but conceptually, hard work pays off, and dealing with constituencies properly doesn’t happen by accident.

Talk Like a Pirate Day: The Five A’s

How to talk like a pirate

Two Guys Who Shouldn’t Sit Next to Each Other

Workplace Dynamics Changing

Trends come together for me. Today I was on a call about IBM’s work flexibility programs, Dow Jones has an article on Gen X vs. Gen Y workers (along with boomers) and the WSJ has an article about expanding the 24 hour workplace. All topics are about workplace conditions and dynamics. They do conflict with each other. You try to balance work/life, yet the ability to reach anyone instantly has conflicted with personal life.

I did an interview on blogging with Forrester recently which turned into an analyst report on the cultural changes and the people coming into the workplace. They are very different than the standard worker we have been used to. This is tough on boomers who have had to deal with the greatest change in (computer) technology of any generation, and this has lead to differences in worker attitudes. What became apparent is that the expectations and the ability of the new workers is far different than the existing workforce. They know more, are more transient and communicate in a different way than we are used to. To be competitive for these resources, your company has to be more nimble and embrace these social technologies and cultures. Still, you have to accommodate the existing workforce and bring them into the fold (social computing) and deal with the fast pace of the new worker.

It used to be that you did your 8 hours, went home and did another 8, five days a week. Technology and the ability to communicate 24 hours a day, instantaneously has changed that. The problem with that is that you can be reached - and - with the expectation of an answer, immediately. The new generation has embraced this and are constantly at each other with the texting and other messaging technologies. This can be at odds with your work/life balance. So while we are the most productive country, we aren’t enjoying it as much apparently. It is at odds with generations also according to Dow Jones:

“Older people approach younger workers and younger workers approach the more mature workers sometimes with a bit of skepticism,” said Ron Glover, vice president of global work force diversity at IBM. “There are real differences in terms of language styles, in terms of the expectations we see across these generations. If you just ignore them, those may become the source of disconnects in the workplace.”

What makes it tough as the WSJ reported was that globalization has given us the ability to work continuously and simultaneously. Mathematically you can’t expand the 24 hour day, but you can cram more into it by having teams around the world combine on a project. They quoted Henry Ford with setting up a 3 shift day - still 24 hours, but the workers built cars for 8 hours and went home. You never go home now, you just go to the place where they reach you for an answer. This ups productivity but once again, there is an intrusion into your work/life balance that has to be managed.

While this seems like complaining, I am stating the obvious here, it isn’t going to change. More than likely it is going to accelerate. One must find a comfort zone while adhering to the company’s need to be competitive and streamline.

Once again, I’m avoiding the crackberry syndrome and am quite reachable…25 hours a day.

Lists of Things to Know how or about, or things you should be able to do.

I was listening to the radio in the car today and heard a list of 25 things a man should be able to do.   I got 24 of 25 because I just haven’t had the chance for that last one yet.

In searching the web, I found great lists of things you should know or know how to do.

2o things every 3rd grader should know before they get to college

20 things you need to know about hygene 

20 things you didn’t know about Mosquitos 

From here on out, it’s 20 things you didn’t know about:

Galileo 

Nothing 

Robots, Bees, Movie Scientists, Pencils, Skin, Aliens, Rats, Lab Accidents, Nobel Prize, Death, Meteors, Obesity, Sleep, Garbage, da Vinci,  Space Disasters 

20 things your wife really means when she says not tonight, I have a headache. 

The King of Lists 

40 Things that only happen in movies 

10 most effective exercises 

20 Things you can’t say if running for President 

100 Things you can make yourself 

100 Things every Man should know how to do 

Esquire’s 73 Things Men should know about Women 

And Finally, Here is the list of what a Man should be able to do.  24 of 25 for mebaby….who da man?

Footnote:  I did find a lot of stuff that is inappropriate, cheesy or classless, if that’s you, you shouldn’t be that proud of it so I didn’t include  it on the list of lists here.

September 11, 2001, Another Day of Infamy with Lessons We CAN’T Forget

We are at our 6th anniversary of the atrocity that is celebrated by the America haters. Let’s not forget a few issues and lessons.

Issues:

This was not the first attack on free countries. While I could go back further, but I’ll go to the Iranian hostage crisis in the 70’s, these same type of people have attacked us many times since then.

* IranEmbassy Hostages, 1979;
* Beirut, LebanonEmbassy 1983;
* Beirut, LebanonMarine Barracks 1983;
* Lockerbie, ScotlandPan-Am flight to New York1988;
* FirstNew YorkWorld TradeCenterattack 1993;
* Dhahran, Saudi ArabiaKhobar Towers Military complex 1996;
* Nairobi, KenyaUSEmbassy 1998;
* Dares Salaam, Tanzania US Embassy 1998;
* Aden, YemenUSS Cole 2000;
* New York World Trade Center 2001;
* Pentagon 2001.

(Note that during the period from 1981 to 2001 there were 7,581 terrorist attacks worldwide, almost exclusively by muslims).

They continue because of culture and beliefs. Here are some:

Envy of our position, our success, and our freedoms. The attacks happened during the administrations of Presidents Carter, Reagan, Bush 1, Clinton and Bush 2. We cannot fault either the Republicans or Democrats as there were no provocations by any of the presidents or their immediate predecessors, Presidents Ford or Carter.

Further, everyone hates the number one, or one that has more, or one that has what you don’t have, or believes differently than you. In this case it’s freedom, freedom of religion and prosperity, in other words… the USA.

Dying in a Jihad is the only guarantee of heaven for Muslims as the Quran doesn’t provide for another assured path.

The terrorists view Christianity (and in a way Judiasm) as polytheistic (Father, Son, Holy Spirit for Christians - although they are one G-D, the original Hebrew in Genesis says man was created in “our” image). For the record, we believe there is one G-d. Muslims view themselves as monotheistic (although there are the Shiites, Sunnis, Wahabi’s who don’t agree with each others sects) and they hate us for being non believers in Allah.

They are the some of the least diverse in terms of culture acceptance to be found. Women have very limited if any rights and are treated as property. Entertainers and homosexuals don’t stand a chance. Freedom and people are to be controlled, which is against our very nature.

While other religions have discussions regarding their beliefs, even during persuasive arguments. As recently as the bin Ladin speech last week, he refers to convert to Islam or die. There are Muslims… others are infidels that should die.

The view of America is through Hollywood and MTV which is the antithesis of what America between the coasts really is. They present us as a country that has no G-D, morally delinquent, decadent, sexual deviants and everything the terrorists believe they are not. But it is ironic that before they crashed the planes into the World Trade Center, the plane hijackers went to strip clubs, got drunk and were sexually deviant.

They hate capitalism, democracy and freedom for the people to live as they wish.

Lessons:

It begins with they hate us (democrats and republicans equally btw), and will continue to attack us if we give them a chance.

They will never accept us unless we convert to Islam.

I’ve learned through life’s experiences (and a lot of fighting) that most people will not continue to attack someone who can kick their butts. If you stay strong, you are less likely to suffer from aggressive behavior. Cowards may try one sneak attack, but usually only one.

As stated, their view of America is propagated by what Hollywood, MTV and the MSM reports. This is both slanted, demented, deceitful, biased and doesn’t represent most of our country, but it is what they view. Heck, Osama even uses quotes from the American Media to trash us, who’s in bed with whom?

We have kept the battle as an away game since 9/11. A strong offense is the best defense. Way to go Germany and Denmark for catching bad guy terrorists before they could blow up airports and kill civilians recently. Let’s keep it from being a home game for the USA.

They need to understand that except for Tim Robbins, Sean Penn, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Hanoi Jane, Hanoi John and the other coastal elites, Americans are strong and will fight. Others have found this out the hard way.

Just because Hollywierd, the MSM, Keith Olberman and others hate our current president almost to dementia, it doesn’t mean there aren’t a whole lot of folks who won’t stand up for our country.

Vietnam was won, and if it wasn’t for Walter Cronkite misleading the President into thinking otherwise… the outcome would have been different. We haven’t forgotten the 3 million South Vietnamese who were murdered when America pulled out.

While 3000 have made the supreme sacrifice to protect our country in the wars of Iraq and Afganistan, the first 3000 were killed on 9/11 by terrorists. They were Black, White, Yellow, Red, American, Foreign, Christians, Jews and even Muslims.

This is a war without borders or uniforms, the enemy doesn’t march in line with tanks. It can’t be considered in terms of conventional warfare. It crosses borders and recruits people to kill themselves.

Oh by the way, the Surge is working. What is reported and what congress says defies what the military bloggers say. I trust the people who are actually there, not those pontificating from the other side of the world because of an upcoming election.

War is not pretty, but when since Cain and Abel has man not been at war? Will we not learn from history that we are going to fight and there will be winners and losers.

Appeasement won’t work, ask Neville Chamberlain or Winston Churchill, their legacies answer this issue. Stand up to cowards and terrorists who only have fear as their motive and they will back down.

Democratically oriented Republics and capitalistic societies are the most prosperous and enjoy the most freedom of any countries in the world.

Forcefed religion never works. It is the choice to believe that is the issue. I even fight for those who choose not to believe, even though I pity the consequences, but they should have that right.

It is tough to be hated by those that don’t realize that if someone doesn’t stand up to evil, it will expand it’s boundaries. I’ll take the criticism.

Stay strong and as they say on the signs in front of the concentration camps, Never Again.

Others like Infidel Bloggers Alliance agree.

Man knows not his own time - Luciano Pavarotti

The Opera world lost one of it’s best today with the death of Pavarotti….so famous that all he needs is one name.
Just goes to show you, no matter what you do on earth, you still exit with the same as everyone else and answer to the same judge.

A true loss to the music world.